and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
