Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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