This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
