I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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