i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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