Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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