just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Randomize
