Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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