I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
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