im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Houston, we have a blender
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
