real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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