Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
