Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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