I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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