you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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