I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
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I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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