girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
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Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
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I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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