he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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