You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
