Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
