At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress