I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize