8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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