I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize