some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
