Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
