he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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