He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you inspire me to be a worse person
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
