You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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