the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...