They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
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It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
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I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...