i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
