halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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