i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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