You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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