I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
