Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I need to align my fucking chakras
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
