I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
