any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
