Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
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knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
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As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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