just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize