im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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