My friends, they love my intelligence
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
