My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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