70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
