Me too!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
