Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Drake has all the answers
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize