so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
and you fell through a lawn chair
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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