Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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