Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I would fuck him just for his dog
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
