he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
