how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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