She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
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If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
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My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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