2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
