my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i would punch a child for taco bell
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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