Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
